The Day You Didn’t See Me

The Day You Didn’t See Me

 

The day you didn’t see me

I kept waiting, endlessly

And like every other day

Nothing would happen

Like any other day,

It was a challenge

A challenge to not feel hurt,

To not feel broken

To not give up cos’ of your ways

 

Ankita Bardhan, Makeup Style and Sugar, fashion blogger, kurti, desi fashion, simpliannie, orange kurti, desi, indian look, indian fashion

Photography – Siddhant Malhotra (siddhant__malhotra)  | Styling, conceptualization, makeup and model – Ankita Bardhan

 

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Everything Was Fact But She In Fact Was A Fiction, A Mystery

Ankita Bardhan, Everything was fact but she in fact was a fiction, a mystery, Fact fiction

Ankita Bardhan, Everything was fact but she in fact was a fiction, a mystery

 

All the right words, all the right gestures

Were up on his sleeves

He’s a ladies man, wooed them effortlessly

A soft tap on his shoulder and there was she

He tried to woo her

But she said tell me about your friends & family

Stunned by her interest & reply

Within minutes he told her his story

Few days in, he took her to his mom

He was scared his mommy was going under surgery

Stunned by her reaction again

She was talking to his mom’s doctor about biopsy

Under harsh sunlight, it felt like cool shadow of tree

 

In a month he went like,

La dee la da da dum

Something about you is different

I want you, I think I love you

“But honey, you don’t even know me”

Again by her reply he was stunned

And they say,

She is the one who knocks the door

She is the one who breaks your walls

She is the one who vanishes

They say, she a beautiful fiction,

A mystery, that’s all about it

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Chapter 4

Buddhist temple, Majnu ka Tilla, Letting go, Let go. Makeup, Style and Sugar, Ankita Bardhan

Buddhist temple, Majnu ka Tilla

 

Packed narrow streets leading to hip contemporary eateries & clothing stores but you will be pleasantly surprised to find a serene place among the maddening crowd, a temple, shining in all it’s glory. Since it was time for evening prayer rituals, you can hear chants, dhols, shankha, manjira, etc. But among all this you can hear two fainted voices trying to reach to each other, the voice which sounded like a whimper was saying,

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Those Whispers At The Funeral Were Funny

Those whispers at the funeral were funny

They all were sad & shattered, now

And their noses were runny.

Now they care, now they love, now they want to know his story

Now they wonder if they could help to stop,

To stop him from attempting suicide

Now they have the time. And a heart.

Oh it was so funny!

 

Oh, those whispers at the funeral were so funny!

Among those whispers I hear a familiar voice

Oh so now you’re sad that he died?

What about me when I told you I want to die?

Those sad eyes of yours now, then ignored my tears

Ignored how much I was scared

I tried talking, but your ears never heard enough

You never wanted to believe that I was having it tough

“You’re strong, I know this will pass by”

Those words were all I got

And I thought you were there by my side

It’s hard to ask for help but I still did

Reaching out to you was my last bid

But all you saw how I was laughing, with a fake smile

Oh it’s so funny that I tried

 

So now I hide all the storms in my heart

And the demons in my head

Act like I am never alone

I embellish the eyes that’s been dead

I keep singing every song

And make that dead soul dance all along

But what hurts most is,

Everyday I fight, all alone

And got no support

So please don’t blame me when I say,

Wish I had a family

Wish I had a home.

 

But oh, wait!

Before I make this again about me

Did I tell you

Of all those funny whispers

What was killing me, was yours

 

~ for the friend who’s hurt and doesn’t wanna speak no more. To the aching soul, that walks alone!

Lonely path

He was flawed. Still he was no less than a superhero.

She was sitting quietly in her room, crying but not making a sound. While she was crying, a fainted memory runs through her mind; a man dancing silly just to make her smile. And suddenly that teary face broke into a big smile. That man was her dad. The man who became her strength, she had no idea how, when and why. He is her superhero, will always be.

She was the girl raised by a single dad. Her mom passed away during the most crucial age of a girl, teenage. And the world knows this for a fact, bringing up a teenager girl is as tricky as justifying Miley Cyrus twerking her booty everywhere, well maybe it’s more trickier than that. (There goes my failed attempt in making a hipster statement 😛) The society all of a sudden started pitying him. Asked him to get re-married for the sake of his daughter cos’ well how can a man raise a girl, right? But he didn’t give in, he took all the pain, raised her all by himself.

And she, she rather gave him a really tough time. She became that typical rebel-for-no-reason-and-my-father-can’t-ever-understand-me kid. Losing her mom changed her completely. Taking care of her was not easy. And sadly, no one was there to help him, neither did he ever ask for. Things were just getting even more tough for him. His lil’ girl who always used to run to daddy has now become a mind boggling algebra equation, whose x & y variables keep on changing.

Like any other man during such crazy times, sometimes he used to end up losing his temper. So sometimes, he ended up shouting on her. And mind you, providing all the financial aid & support, feeding her, doing all motherly things & then keeping up with her tantrums wasn’t easy. Can’t really blame the poor man. But after an hour he would knock her door, she as usual will hide her tears cos’ you know how rebel kids are strong enough to never cry in front of anyone. He would sing silly, say silly dialogues & jokes or even dance silly, just to make that frown go away from her face. He would make up for it cos’ after all his lil’ girl was all he had.

Times just kept getting tough.  It was her high school days & she was making friends with all the wrong people. Now for her, her friends became everything, she was seeking love in them. These friends started influencing her. The girl who once was a nerd has now started bunking classes, lost interest in studies, deliberately got into trouble just to get accepted by the wrong ones. She lost her track, completely. He tried to stop her, warn her, even scolded her for hanging out with such kids. But all his efforts backfired, she only misunderstood him for trying to keep her away from her friends. He was a man under a lot of pressure & he was trying his best to provide everything to his daughter, to protect her. Like they say desperate times call for desperate measures. So he ended up following what them nosy aunties & society had to say about raising a girl “properly”-  Stop giving her so much independence, stop her from talking to guys, stop her from wearing shorts & skirts, teach her cooking, cleaning, stitching & every “girly” things. He never forced these rules on her before. But the clueless man tried this too, just to save his daughter from more trouble she was running into. Unfortunately all of this, made them  grow even more far apart from each other.

Soon he realized it was not the right way. As soon as her college life started, he gave her all the freedom, even financial freedom. He tried making up for the mistake he made, he became more calm. Tried to not get angry when she used to throw tantrums for no reason. But tried to understand her. But she never noticed all the little things he did for, the changes he made in himself, all the sacrifices he made for her, she rarely noticed them let alone appreciating the man. She was lost in her friends, they were family to her not her dad. Boy,that must have hurt real bad but he never complained. He kept doing everything he could for her.

And one fine day, the bubble she used to live in, burst. The people whom she used to call friends, treated as family, threw her out as if they never considered her as a friend. As if she means nothing to them. That day she came back crying to her house. She saw her dad sitting, usually she would wipe her tears & not shed single tear in front of him. But today she couldn’t bear it, her demeanor got washed off as she burst into tears in front of him. Her dad hugged her, comforted her. She opened up to him finally, told him everything. He just smiled, patted on her head & said, “I understand. You meant no wrong, you were just lonely” And those words hit her & she finally understood the family she was looking for was here, the home she was looking for was right in front of her, her dad. She realized what ass of a kid she has been to her dad. There was regret in her eyes. And she hears the words, “Arre sher beta hai na tu mera? Aise thorri na rotey hai, ab ye sab chor or bol butter chicken khaega mera beta?

From that day she started to respect her dad. And he made her the girl who doesn’t discriminate between men & women. Taught her not be dependent on any man, if being a man he can do all the motherly things, being a girl she too can do the things which only men are ‘supposed’ to do. He made her always strive to become the better version of herself. He gave her a rock solid heart to never give up on ones you love, no matter how hard it gets, keep trying. She learnt to appreciate the small sacrifices one makes for her. She started to appreciate men & their efforts even more. Most importantly, he taught her to have high standards when it comes to making friends or choosing a man & not to accept anything less than what she deserves just because she’s  lonely.

He surely had made some mistakes. But no one’s born as a parenting expert. Even mothers make mistakes so many times but it’s usually a father’s mistake which gets pointed out. Always misunderstood. They rarely get appreciated for the pain they go through. Are usually underestimated. I mean how many times I have heard a mother playing the role of a father being looked up as an inspiration, whereas when we talk about a father being playing both the roles, the society starts to think of them being incapable, as if they are handicapped to give justice to both the roles. So today I would like to stand up for all the unsung hereos. The one who sacrifices, gets ignored behind his strict demeanor. The one whose heart beats only for his children but lets his wife to take the centre stage among his children. Yes, they might be bit flawed but they are no less than a superhero.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL THE SUPERDADS! 🙂

Chapter 3

Soft sunrays of the dawn fell through the window, onto the bed covered with satin sheets. White candles were still lit on the side table, soft music was playing on LED tv & between all of this romantic setup..was sitting he, perplexed & confused.
His heart was pounding..pounding so hard as it was about to beat out of his chest, his mind was blank.
Suddenly he sensed a familiar fragrance…that lingering smell was her’s, his girl. Within a flash of a second, all the memories of last night started playing in his mind.
Her giggles, her moans, her grin..he could hear them all. Their romantic rendezvous, those breath-taking long resuscitations… each passing memory of that night of passion was aching his heart.
Do you love me..? “ “Where are we heading with our relation?” Those questioning eyes, that nervousness in her voice, were haunting him. But now she’s gone, maybe he lost her forever.
But there was something else that was bothering him the most.. he loves her & she surely does makes him happy, then why couldn’t he commit to her..? Why was he letting her go?
 
 

Do lemme know your views in comments below 🙂

Till then…

Smile a lil’

Love some more

Dream a lil’

Live some more

Chapter 2

“Clack clack clack..tap Clack clack clack..tap… Click”

The only sound you can hear around him, sitting in his office, behind a computer screen, typing in codes as fast as he could. And this continued for few hours.

Then he left his cubicle, had lunch with his colleagues, laughed on some office jokes & sarcasm.. & then back to the sound of keyboard & his coding making love to each other.

In between, he gets a call from his mom asking how is his day going? Did he have his lunch on time? You know the usual.. And his replies to her questions sound exactly like this “hmmm… haa.. haaa.. hmmmm.. haa maa yaad hai.. haa.. ok rakhta hu, bye..!

This sums up his daily routine ‘Office-Lunch-Call From Mom-Home-Office’ & repeat! And all work no play, surely made Jack a dull boy.. well, a frustrated corporate monkey to be precise!

To vent out his frustration, he rants & slams on social networking sites, listens to songs, stares at some nudes of actresses, download some porn maybe & watch it later in home or sometimes in office only (in his phone).

But still nothing beats out that frustration & that sinking feeling completely. Nothing was saving him.

 

Do leave you comments & wait for some more short stories 🙂

Till then…

Smile a lil’

Love some more

Dream a lil’

Live some more